wonderland syndrome project.

Lorina was by my side as my eyes fluttered open. She always is. It seems I’m always under her watch. They say she has to. That I can get out of hand and hurt myself. She hands me those little pills, the ones that never seem to do anything. I roll my eyes and down them dry. I need to take them she says, to stop the ‘nonsense’ stories, it’s always called nonsense I hear that word too bloody often. She leaves the room, but it’ll only be for a few moments. I take the chance to go. To get the few minutes alone I can. I slide my legs over the side of the bed and as usual they seem to be stretched, it happens every morning and then they go back to normal. Its normal to me. Lorina says differently. My eyes focused on the perimeter of the room. The walls seem to be 100 feet away from me. I can see them for miles. In turn I seem to walk for miles before I step out the door and down the hall. The creaky floor boards are amplified to almost an ear splitting sound and I turn into the bathroom. Its on the left at night. On the right in the morning. I quickly shower, each drop of water hitting me like acid, I have to turn the water all the way on the cold side in order for it to feel good, but I’m not different like they say. Not well. I’m just fine. They’re the crazy ones. Lorina Knocks on the door, asks me if I’m okay. She’s done it 3 times since I’ve got in here, and its only been 10 minutes. I emerge from the shower and my foot touches the floor however I don’t feel it, but this is nothing new to me. I towel myself off and each inch feels like sandpaper against my skin. I hate it, my clothes feel like that too at first 'till I get use to it.
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I slip my white shirt over my head. The neck is sloped down into a V. I don’t like this that much, I always feel like my breasts are over exposed but Dinah tells me it looks nice. I put on my jeans. They’re so tiny at the ends that I feel like I have nothing on, but once again Dinah tells me they look good. I check the mirror and laugh slightly. Its like a fun housemirror. I’m all tall and wavy. My laughter sounds foreign though as if it was sounded from else where and I look around. No one’s there. Not even Lorina which is good. I don’t really want to see her today. However a smile spreads across my face ‘cus I know my dear old Doorknob is hanging outside ready for our trip to Wonderland. Lorina and Dinah try to keep me away from there. They say it’s bad but I just think they’re jealous, ‘cus they’re notfriends with them. They’re so selfish sometimes. Through the backdoor I go and into the garden. The smell of flowers hit me and I sneeze almost instantly, I squint up at the sun and cover my ears at the constant bird chirping. I’m almost in tears till I hear the faint familiar whisper. My eyes lighten and I whip towards it and smile. Doorknob. Lorina often talks about a creepy, mysterious guy in black who walks around our yard. She says he’s one of the ‘psychos from that dump’ however I think she mistakes the figure and its really Doorknob. He makes sure I get to Wonderland alright and when I get there he seems sad because Mr. Hatter and Dee seem to steal me away so quickly, I wave and promise him another walk tomorrow. Then I head into Wonderland on another adventure.

Wonderland's a place for me to escape. Where I’m on my own. Where they can’t hover over my every move. Alice this, Alice that, don’t do that Alice, Stay with me Alice. They say I’m not well. Maybe I’m just different maybe I see the world differently. Dinah says that but Lorina just says it’s nonsense that I need to grow up and act like the woman I am, but they don’t know Wonderland like I do, they don’t know it at all. Mr. Hatter and his silly hat, The White Rabbit, Rabbit, he’s always late, The Queen gets quite frustrated, but he loves to sit around and have a cup a tea and listen to The Dormouse’s stories. We all do. Why, even sometimes big ol’ smiling Cheshire Cat joins us though most people don’t like her to well, on account of her harshness. I just think she needs some pettin’ and she’ll be just fine.Caterpillar comes with her most the time. He's a character that one, always laughing at nothing and making silly faces. Sometimes I bringDinah along, she always cries to me to go home. She doesn’t like Wonderland. She says they’re bad people but maybe its just she sees the world differently because in the end she stays with me and most always cracks at least a smile or two. I like Wonderland. Even The March Hare though he seems to be real smug sometimes and Do-Dowho always talks of his greatness. He’s done loads of stuff even helped save a few lives at sea. People always tell himto hush though. That he talks a load of nonsense, I know how he feels. I’m told that too…And Dee, he never fails to tell me how pretty I look today, he makes me blush. Good old Dee, but in all I have to thank Mr. Door Knob who never misses a date with me. Each and every day he picks me up in my backyard and takes the short walk with me to Wonderland. Yeah, I love Wonderland, Lorina or Dinah won’t take me from there any time soon.